Lilian's Thoughts

Sometimes I wonder if I am really too emotional in handling matters..

Sometimes I wonder if my efforts will be paid off..

U were sick for almost a week..

U din go for work for 3 days..

I had to give up my usual chit-chatting session after work..

I had to clear up the store..

Den I realised how tiring and hard it was to clear up the store alone..

I started to feel sorry..

Tat I always just go off after finishing my stuffs..

Leaving u alone to clear up the store..

Yet u shouted at me just like tat..

I was doing the accounts..

U asked me about the business today..

I was like "haiz.. Like tat lor.. no ppl leh.."

"Can U be more serious in ur work!!"

"Can U at least work hard for once!!"

"Can U stop playing ard?"

I was totally dumbfounded..

U chided me for being too nice to my little brother..

U chided me for always siding with him..

U chided me for always lending him money without a second thought..

U chided me for being too emotional when handling matters..

But all this din hurt tat bad..

I tidied up everything and stomped out of the room..

I sat in front of the computer..

Tears starting rolling down..

I was so dishearted..

I was so disappointed..

How can u accuse me of not being serious in work??

How can u even feel tat way??

Yes..

I might appear to be playing ard during work..

But I always know the limit..

I will do my work first den go chit-chat with the others..

I might appear to be nonchalant abt the business..

But do u know tat I also feel stressed and sad when there's no business..

I just dun like to show it out..

I just dun wish tat U all know tat I am also worrying over the business...

Den Daddy came in..

He saw me crying..

I told him everything..

U came in to apologise..

So wat?

U already hurt me too deep..

I thought it over..

To do my best in everything I can..

I only hope tat this Thursday's interview will go on well..

Hopefully..

For now..

I still feel an tinge of hurt inside..

Though I appear to be fine on the surface..

Sometimes ppl's words and attitude do disappoint me..

Sometimes ppl's thoughts can just ruin my mood..

Especially when it's from ur dearest ones..

=(